Dear Bad Company Squad Mates

Battlefield: Bad company

An open letter to my computer controlled squad-mates in Battlefield: Bad Company. I wrote a very similar letter to my computer controlled squad mates in Call of Duty 4.

Dear highly trained B-company squad mates,

Thank you for standing around randomly while the tank was outside shooting at me. Why you are standing there with that javelin rocket launcher on your shoulder in the middle of the road, doing nothing, while the tank pummels me with its main cannon and heavy machine gun, i’ll never know.

Ooops! The tank killed me!

But that’s a good thing, you see, as now I am transported 3/4 of a mile away back to the last save point, safe from the killer tank. But hey! Here you guys come, running back from the firefight, where you could have been productive, to stand around by me again.

Oh, it looks like that tank followed you all the way here! Let me get out my mortar strike thing and call in a…oops, killed by the tank again. And now i respawn right here next to the tank! How fortunate! Oh wait, ITS ONLY SHOOTING AT ME.

Ok, i’ll take out the tank myself guys, thanks for covering me so well. Lets run the 3/4 of mile back to the area where we first found the tank.

…3 minutes later, after running all the way back…

A helicopter! Raining bullets from the sky This will be fun…. yay, teleported back the 3/4 of a mile i just ran!

Thanks for running all the way back here to hang out with me! And thanks for bringing that helicopter with you!

Your friend,
John

I gave up on bad company before i finished the main storyline. I don’t do that often, but in this case i just couldn’t keep pushing through. Having to spend 3 minutes running back to an area then getting killed and doing it over was plain stupid. The other 3 main characters were basically useless (at least on hard), killing almost nothing. And since they didn’t really get hurt, i didn’t care about them. After just playing through Rainbow 6: Vegas 2, where you have control over what your squad does, bad company was annoying because the squad was useless. They’d say stuff like “here come some reds”, and then you had no idea where they were or where they were coming from. They wouldn’t show up on the radar, they wouldn’t say “from the north” or anything to give you an indication of what they were seeing, making it completely pointless. There’s a guy with a javelin or some other shoulder fired rocket, but whenever we saw a tank or other armor, he’d just stand there like an idiot. More than once i saw one of the guys standing right next to an enemy, pointing a weapon at him, while the enemy fired and hit me repeatedly. I would have been fine with the save system if it had a been a little more consistent. Sometimes there’d be a save spot within a few hundred yards of the last one. Other times, it would be a 2 minute ride in a golf cart, and then i’d get killed, and teleported back, with the stupid golf cart back where i died; so now its a 5 minute run. I got in the habit of just driving whatever vehicle as fast/far as possible right into the middle of a whole bunch of enemies in the hope that there’d be a save point there, so i’d keep respawning in the tank or whatever i was in.

The left trigger to aim wasn’t very useful with some weapons either. Movement and running had a camera shake thing going on, which got real annoying when running for 5 minutes to get back into the action.

The multi-player was more fun to me than the single player, to tell you the truth. It still didn’t feel as polished as Call of Duty 4, but had some interesting things.

The destructible environments was pretty cool, and will probably be the one thing that all the other games start doing. Although i swear that you couldn’t open doors, you had to blow them up, or blow a hole in the wall to get in somewhere. Yay, grenades instead of doorknobs!

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Much Worse Things…

I caught most of the “A Colbert Christmas” special last night on comedy central. The last part of the episode, a duet between Stephen Colbert and Elvis Costello was the best part of the whole show. An awesome little song, with a very memorable, very applicable holiday song. Here are the lyrics:


Elvis
There are cynics
there are skeptics
There are legions of dispassionate dyspeptics
Who regard this time of year as a maudlin insincere
Cheezy crass commercial travesty of all that we hold dear
Stephen
When they think that
Well, I can hear it
But I pity them their lack of Christmas spirit
For in a world like ours, take it from Stephen
There are much worse things to believe in.

Elvis
A redeemer
and a savior
an obese man giving toys for good behavior
Stephen
The faith in what might be and the hope that we might see
The answer to all sorrow in a box beneath the tree
Find them foolish
Elvis
Sentimental
Stephen
Well you’re clearly none too bright
Both
so we’ll be gentle
Stephen
Don’t even try to start vaguely conceiving
Both
Of all much worse things to believe in

Stephen
Believe in the judgment
believe in Jihad
Believe in a thousand variations on a dark and spiteful god
Elvis
You’ve got your money
you’ve got your power
You’ve got your science, and all the planets going to end within the hour
Stephen
You’ve got your dreams that don’t come true
Elvis
You’ve got the ones that do
Stephen
Then you’ve got your nothing
Both
Some folks believe in nothing
But if you believe in nothing
Then what’s to keep the nothing from coming for you

Stephen
Merry Christmas
Happy New Year
Now if you’ll forgive me there’s a lot to do here
There are stockings still unhung
Colored lights I haven’t strung
Elvis
And a one-man four-part Christmas carol waiting to be sung
Stephen
Call me silly
call me sappy
Call me many things, the first of which is happy
You doubt, but your sad
I don’t, but I’m glad
Both
I guess we’re even
Stephen
At least that’s what I believe in
Both
And there are much worse things

Here’s the video of it from colbertnation:

Hopefully the songs all go up on Amazon or iTunes or something, as i’d download this one for sure to put it on my iphone!

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Random Review: Root canal

Root canal

Sunday night, i awoke in the middle of the night with a splitting headache. Or, toothache, rather. I couldn’t tell which tooth, or even top or bottom, just that the left side of my face hurt. I took some advil, it went away, and I went back to sleep. Monday and Tuesday the toothache kindof came and went but there was no sensitivity to hot or cold or pressure, and i still couldn’t tell where it was coming from. Wednesday was more of the same until dinner time. During dinner, it got to the point that i couldn’t even chew on the left side, but at least i could tell which tooth it was. Wednesday night i barely slept. I probably got about 2 hours of total sleep in 5 minute chunks. Thursday morning i went to the dentist, they took xrays and said that i had an infection in that tooth, and that i’d need a root canal. I was given prescriptions for antibiotics and painkillers and had to come back the next day for the root canal, as they want the antibiotics in your system for at least 24 hours.

I picked up the scrips and started taking them thursday morning. By thursday afternoon, i could tell when the painkillers were wearing off. It was horrible. The painkillers also made me dizzy and sleepy. I ended up napping thursday away, and watching Pee-wee’s Big Adventure over and over on Netflix over Xbox360. Friday i went in for the root canal. The first hour of setup/etc for the root canal was the first time in days that i wasn’t in pain. Nitrous and Novocaine for the win! The root canal itself wasn’t bad at all, aside from the time it took. Start to finish it was around 4 hours. I listened to my iphone and just laid there following directions. The dentist would do stuff, they’d stop and do xrays, repeat. My jaws are a little sore from being pried open for that long, my lips are sore from the dental dam thing rubbing against my face. The day after i feel a little better, but the left side of my face is still sore. I’m going a little longer between painkillers, but that tooth is a little sore from all the work they did on/in it.

I still can’t really do much, as the Vicodin induced dizziness really sucks. It also gives me like a 5 minute attention span. Laura will say something to me, i’ll hear it, but i just don’t comprehend. I’ll ask her to repeat what she said and then i’ll understand. Its annoying to me, i’m sure its annoying to her as well.

I also don’t understand how people get hooked on vicodin. For me it doesn’t make the pain go completely away, it just takes the “edge” off the pain. But I hate being dizzy, but the dizziness is better than the pain. Maybe you have to take like 5 at a time to get high or something? But i’d be afraid it would just make me dizzier and dizzier which would really suck.

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The Xbox 360 NXE is pretty cool!


me myself and i

You can’t really tell, but that is totally a camo hat! too bad i couldn’t figure out how to put it on backwards! I already signed up for a netflix trial membership and threw stuff into my instant queue and was watching superbad within 1 minute! sound was a little quiet, picture not super-awesome, but its still going to be so convenient, given that we can’t get on demand through the tivo.

I also copied battlefield:bad company onto the hard drive, since i have lots of disc read errors on my xbox360. the first copy to the drive failed at 43% with, wouldn’t you know it, a disc read error! the second try worked, and thats all i needed to know. I saw that Fable2 saw a lot of benefits with running from the hard drive, so that’s the next one to get copied. good thing i bought that 100g drive!

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Another (blue) Halloween, another win!

Last year it was blue man group, this year: SMURFS!

4 of us were smurf boys:

(Brainy, Papa, Grumpy, Handy smurf left to right, and a nice background photoshop job by jay)

Last year we used blue liquid latex, which was a nightmare to put on, but trivial to take off, because it all just came off as one big piece. This year was blue grease paint makeup, which was easy to put on, but took forever to get off. For the entire weekend Laura was finding more blue paint in my hair here and there.

Aubree was smurfette: (need to find a pic, i don’t have one from my camera)

Jeff was Gargamel:
gargamel

And Yelena was Azrael:
azreal

Yelena also “Elucidator‘ified” her costume because we just told her to be an orange cat, she didn’t know what the group costume was before the day of halloween.

At work, Jeff got the win for “best overall costume”, and collectively we got “best group”. Thats 3 years in a row for best costume, i think both Jeff and i have each won something 4 years running though?

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Hey mom! I’m famous!

hey mom, i'm famous!

See for yourself!. Click + to zoom in.

I’m doing rock fingers, jay is doing the robot. We just barely saw him going by on our way to lunch. That was like 6 months ago? It was cold enough to wear a jacket…

Here’s another view that pete found:

another view!

We were just coming out the ping-pong-plaza door.

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Yes, Rosetta (aka Merck Seattle) is closing.

By December 31, 2009 (nine, not eight), the Seattle Merck “lab” is closing. But Rosetta Biosoftware isn’t technically the lab, so there are other plans in the work for Rosetta Biosoftware and GEL Operations. We don’t know all the details yet, so that kinda sucks, but i’m not too worried about it right now.

Its kinda sad: in a ~3500 word press release about Merck’s 3Q2008 earnings, its single a whopping sentence:

This will provide a more efficient use of research facilities and result in the closure of three basic research sites in Tsukuba, Japan; Pomezia, Italy; and Seattle by the end of 2009.

33 words. 0.94%. Not statistically significant, as the statistics people would say.

More news as I know more!

ETA: The new official statement:

Today Merck & Co. announced its intent to close its Seattle research site. At Rosetta Biosoftware, however, we are continuing with business as usual. Rosetta Biosoftware continues to operate as a commercial provider of life science software solutions. Rosetta Biosoftware is a separate business unit of Rosetta Inpharmatics LLC, wholly owned subsidiary of Merck.

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Easton!

i'm so gangsta!

I have been a little busy for the past oh, 10 weeks, so i haven’t gotten to post. But i’m always busy with something, so i figure i should just post some little posts more often.

So here’s a fun one!

Just over 10 weeks ago, Laura had our first child (of many, i’m sure. i’m not a basketball fan, so maybe a hockey team? baseball team is wishful thinking!), Easton John Gardner. If you’re following my flickr easton collection contents like our friends and family, you already know that!

Upcoming posts: Reviews of my Spike’s Tactical AR-22 rifle, some other random things!

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This is what happens when i leave my desk at work.

Go away for 5 minutes, and look what happens. Delicious goods appear!

what happens when i leave my desk for 5 minutes

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Random Review: Dr. Horrible is awesome!

Go watch it. The third part is supposed to go live tomorrow (the 19th) and the first two parts are awesome. I love Neil Patrick Harris, and this is pure genius on Joss Whedon’s part as well. NPH is our favorite part of How I Met Your Mother, and playing himself in the Harold & Kumar movies is fantastic. So go watch it already. It would be awesome if they could turn this into a series of some kind, even if it was web based or i had to download it through iTunes or my X360.

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