Dear CoD4 computer team-mates: shoot that guy 3 feet in front of you!

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

An open letter to my computer controlled squad-mates in Call of Duty 4.

Dear highly trained SAS/USMC squad mates,

Thank you for providing covering fire from behind that pallet of stuff and those barrels, you’re doing a great job. But you should at least try to shoot that guy standing 3 feet in front of you. Its cool that you’ll duck out and throw the grenades back at them, but that guy right there, yeah, that guy in the ski mask, he’s a bad guy. Shoot in his general vicinity. With the amount of bullets you are spraying, i think you might even hit him by accident.

Never mind, i got him for you. Lets move up!

Oh, alright, you guys can stay back there behind those barrels. Its probably safer that way. You keep directing fire towards where that guy is hiding behind that car, so i can see he’s over there. I agree, i’d think that sporadic rifle and light machine gun fire would go right through the aluminum and plastic body work, but apparently these Russian cars are much sturdier than you’d think.

Yes sir, I’ll go out and place C4 on that tank with the heavy machine gun firing at us. You guys keep that tank pinned down from behind those boxes. Ok, i’ve singlehandedly blown up this tank…. oh, there’s another one over there? Ok, i’ll get right on that.

Hey, have you guys realized that every time we hear some voices speaking in Russian, that some guys come from this door? Maybe you should premptively shoot over there. And if you hear anyone say any words that even remotely sound like the word “grenade”, or “grenata” or anything like that, you should probably hide behind something instead of just standing there.

Your friend,

Just finished the main storyline of Call of Duty 4 on veteran. I finished it on normal a while back and have been playing multiplayer almost every night, but since Jeff, gamertag:”Still Breastfed” finished the game on Veteran last week, i at least had to try to get through it. After finishing on normal i’d started again on veteran and got stuck in the TV station. What a pain. Most of the game was pretty awesome, even on veteran. I’d guess that a single playthrough on “hardened” would be about the best experience. Not too hard, but hard enough to not breeze through it. Not the best or most original storyline (hey, lets prevent some nukes from ‘sploding!) but diverse enough environments and missions that it stayed interesting the whole way through. Its interesting how they kill off some people in this one, and the ending sequence is a believable movie ending that you’re in control of. CoD4 has by far the best animation and modelling of any video game i’ve ever played. The way the characters run, climb things, switch weapons, and perform other tasks is almost spot on. Some of it looks like its pre-rendered, but it isn’t, its all happening in engine in game. Pretty awesome. They could make an AC130 gunship game and we’d all buy it without question (hey, infinity ward, make an arcade game out of that!) The multiplayer is the most fun i’ve had on any multi-player FPS on a console ever. I only wish that when you got killed in the single player you’d get the killcam view you get when you get killed in multiplayer. But i bet that I’d just be enraged when i see that the guy who killed me was behind a wall and can’t possibly see me… 🙂

Now if i could just get through the airplane mission on veteran…. I’m so close!

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3 comments on “Dear CoD4 computer team-mates: shoot that guy 3 feet in front of you!
  1. SAS/USMC squad mate says:

    You must not have noticed, I bring my laptop everywhere. While you’re focused on killing the enemy, I’m usually browsing the forums. Oh, and I live to spray and pray. I’m firing at someone while I write this comment!
    Cover me, I’m reloading!!
    Some articles report my apparent lack of proficiency. That irritates me, because I’m a professional! Oh, hold on….
    Phew, I think someone killed whoever was firing at us.
    Target neutralized!

  2. John Gardner says:

    I think you might be drinking as well 🙂

  3. John Gardner says:

    Rofl, this turns out to be “rule #3, ‘CPU-controlled squad teammates'” at cracked!

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